Internal Termoil.

I'm so sick of being jealous of everyone.

One of my friends is having a party of sorts, and has invited a certain other friend. Now, this other friend ("N") was invited to "B"'s party, along with people who aren't actually B's friends, but since they all went for a meal together (which I wasn't invited to) they all seem to be bff's. I am so not happy about this. I have been trying to be good friends with N for over 4 years and every attempt is thrown back at me and she seems to ignore my existence, as do the other people that have been invited to B's party.

However, the friends that actually make and effort and that B and I talk to on a daily basic are not invited, which makes me feel that B is just being a dick, and I am so fed up of people being dicks.

Anyway, N seems to be getting closer to a guy that I like, and I swear to god if they start a relationship I'm done. I'm never fucking touching a piece of food again because it's not worth it, if that's what I have to do to not feel like this then fine. I honestly don't care. I'm sick of people treating others like shit and I'm just generally not in the mood for any of them, with quickly dwindling patience for all of my "friends", very few seem to make any effort at all.


I'm done.